What to Talk About in Counseling When You Don’t Have Anything to Say

Walking into a therapy session with nothing on your mind feels a bit like showing up to a party without a gift—it’s awkward, and you’re left wondering if you should’ve prepared better. But here’s a little secret: silence doesn’t mean failure. In fact, it’s often where the most surprising conversations begin.

As a therapist, I can tell you this: the magic of counseling isn’t just about what you say—it’s about what we discover together. So, let’s dive into how you can turn those “I don’t know what to talk about” moments into some of the most fruitful and revealing sessions.

Exploring the Layers of “Nothing”

When you don’t feel like there’s anything pressing to talk about, it’s a perfect time to zoom out and look at your life through a different lens. Think of your thoughts and experiences as an onion (minus the tears, hopefully). There are layers to peel back, and even if you feel “fine,” there’s always more to explore.

1. The Surface Layer: What’s Happened Lately?

• Check your highlights reel. Did something small make you smile or frustrate you this week? Maybe it was a funny exchange with a barista or an unexpected argument with a friend. These little moments can be windows into larger patterns.
• Talk about the mundane. How are your routines? Are you feeling energized, or are you trudging through the week? Often, our habits reveal our emotional undercurrents.

2. The Inner Layer: What’s On Your Mind?

• Recurring thoughts. Have you caught yourself thinking about the same thing over and over? Maybe it’s an old memory that resurfaced, a random “what if,” or a worry that doesn’t seem to go away. This is fertile ground for exploration.
• Dreams and fantasies. What have you been daydreaming about—or even dreaming at night? Our imaginations are often trying to tell us something.

3. The Core Layer: What Are You Feeling?

• Emotions without names. Sometimes, we feel something but can’t quite label it. Try describing it anyway. “I feel… foggy? Like a sleepy cat in a sunbeam, but also kind of restless.” Trust me, we can work with that.
• Old echoes. Have certain feelings from the past been sneaking into your present? Nostalgia, grief, or anger you thought you’d buried might be knocking at the door.

Dimensions to Explore

Therapy is more than problem-solving. It’s a place to be curious about your whole self. If you’re not sure what to say, here are some dimensions of life to wander through:

• Relationships: How are your connections with others? What’s working, and what’s not?
• Identity: Who are you becoming? Does the person you are today match the person you want to be?
• Values and purpose: What matters to you most right now? Are your choices aligning with those values?
• Dreams and goals: What are you striving for—or avoiding? Even apathy about the future is worth unpacking.
• Body and wellness: How’s your physical self? Are you tuned into what it’s telling you, or have you been ignoring its signals?
• Environment: How’s your space? Is it helping you thrive, or is it adding to your stress?

How to Remember What to Bring to Session

Sometimes the best therapy topics are born outside the office, in those random moments when you’re driving to work or brushing your teeth. But how do you catch them before they slip away?

1. Keep a Therapy Notebook

This doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Just a little place to jot down ideas, questions, or feelings you’d like to unpack.

2. Use Your Phone

Most of us are never far from our phones. Create a notes folder titled “Therapy Thoughts” or use a voice memo app to record ideas on the go.

3. Assign a Mental Check-In

Pick a specific time each week to reflect. Maybe it’s Sunday evenings or the morning of your appointment. Ask yourself, “What’s been on my mind lately? What do I want help with?”

4. Lean Into Post-Session Insights

Therapy often stirs things up. If you find yourself having “aha!” moments after a session, capture them before they fade.

When in Doubt, Just Start Talking

If you walk into therapy convinced you’ve got nothing to say, try saying exactly that: “I don’t know what to talk about today.” I promise, that sentence is a door. Open it, and we’ll step through together. Sometimes, the best sessions start with the smallest openings.

Because in therapy, as in life, it’s not about filling the silence—it’s about letting it lead you somewhere new.